For A Few Movies More

Question:

A loving father going about his pleasant albeit uneventful life has his world shattered when out of the blue, news of his daughter’s death drives a spike through his once peaceful existence. The toxicology reports from the police state it was an overdose, but he’s not buying into that. And to top it off, a pornographic video containing the final doped out moments of his daughter’s life caught on tape is mysteriously mailed to him. What is a father to do?

Answer:

He grabs his bike pump, some fishing hooks and his favourite switchblade, and head out on a merciless rampage of bloody revenge to make sure everyone involved in the said production regrets the day they were ever born.

Well, at least that’s the basic set up of first time writer/director’s Steven Kastrissios’ low budget and bloody revenge flick, The Horseman anyway. A mean slice of Ozploitation cinema that reveals just how far one loving father is willing to go for his daughter.

I am, as are so many of my generation, constantly on the internet. My interest in films leads me to regular movie news websites every day. Before a film comes out I can usually tell you who directed it, who’s in it, what it’s about, what the buzz is and so on. I’m particularly proud of my ability to tell whether or not a movie is going to suck after seeing the trailer and have perfected this skill to a certain level of accuracy. I say this not to brag but to let it be known that these days, from a combination of heavy marketing and internet saturation, we are very well informed about our movies and as a result are able to make very clear decisions about what films we should see.  Nine times out of ten we already know if we’re going to like it or not before we see it and as a result we take fewer risks with the films we watch. Seeing The Tree was a little experiment of mine, one, which I think, I will repeat with bigger budget Hollywood films. I went into The Tree knowing nothing about. I hadn’t read a single review, seen the trailer or even read a plot outline – it was a complete mystery to me. When I got the tickets I went to quite some lengths to make sure that I knew absolutely nothing about it. As you can imagine I expected very little as a result (I knew it was Australian so I cautioned a guess that it would be a drama) but I sat down with an open mind and am happy to admit I was pleasantly surprised.

I was lead to believe that this film was something akin to Mean Girls ie. A teen movie that is surprisingly well written and still manages to entertain however frivolous. I had liked Emma Stone in the previous two roles I had seen her in (Superbad and Zombieland) with her dry wit and unaffected charm, so I decided to give it a go. I left my cynicism at the door and went in willing to love this movie but was inevitably let down with the film that ensued.

The comedy is just far too broad and some of the characters are cliched and unoriginal. Amanda Bynes’ character Marianne (the uptight Christian) is about as complicated as the recipe for mac and cheese. And a lot of her facial expressions would rival that of Jerry Lewis. There is a scene where she is sharpening pencils which is particularly excruciating. With this type of character, I’ve always thought that the Tracey Flick approach is more interesting. Which is to just play it straight, totally innocent and truly believe all the virtues which you are spouting. In other words for the character to be sweet on the outside but rotten at the core. If you want to see the subject of religion explored in a teen movie setting than I would suggest the film Saved, not a brilliant movie but is entertaining enough and doesn’t try to ram the moral down your throat.
Rhiannon (played by Alyson Michalka) is also ridiculously over the top as the vacuous, big chested best friend of Olive. Consequently this does not make for a believable rapport between the two actresses.

As I approached M Night Shyamalan’s new film The Last Airbender with cautious trepidation, I honestly wanted to give it a fair chance.  Even though the early buzz indicated that we had a severe stinker on our hands, I still held onto the mild hope that Shyamalan might be able to dig himself out of the hole that he’s dug for himself due to his recent string of gradually worsening films. Plus I’ve grown tired of the non-stop barrage of hate that constantly rains down upon the guy these days from both critics and fans, and besides, surely the film couldn’t be as bad as everybody was saying right? RIGHT?

Alas, I’m here to deliver the unfortunate, yet unsurprising news that The Last Airbender does indeed, suck. Seriously, if you thought The Happening was as bad as it could possibly get, then prepare yourself for the greatest cinematic insult you’ll see all year.

The year was 2003 and I was but the tender age of 16. By this stage in my life, I was well and truly obsessed with the horror genre, particularly the Nightmare On Elm Street and Friday The 13^th series of films. These two series were my entry points into horror that in turn gave birth to my love for the genre. So imagine my surprise when there I was one day, minding my own business, watching some sort of horrible day time TV show when lo and behold, an advertisement for Freddy Vs Jason screened during the ad break. I couldn’t believe it, my dream movie was coming out and I didn’t even know it existed before this moment.

Now if I had to make a list of the top 10 most exciting moments in my life, this moment would make the list. I’m not kidding. It’s not as if I haven’t experienced anything more exciting since then, it’s just at that moment of my life, to my teenage mind, the concept of an ugly burnt guy with razors attached to his fingertips fighting an undead hockey mask-wearing zombie was the pinnacle of awesomeness.

The moment the trailer finished, I picked up my phone and called one of my friends. I proceeded to spew forth unintelligible ramblings to them about how this movie would be the greatest film ever made, it’ll be a cinematic masterpiece, we must see it opening day, etc. Now with that over, it was time to play the waiting game. I literally counted down the days with my ever-constant reminders of “There’s only five more days till Freddy Vs Jason comes out, only five more days!” I’m not sure if anyone else around me cared, but that didn’t faze me, nothing was going to dampen my enthusiasm.

The next couple of weeks flew by and before I knew it, opening day had arrived. That day my thoughts were only of the cinematic grudge match I would soon be treated to. Questions and curiosities whirled through my head all day — why would these two be fighting, how would they fight? Finally, the long awaited moment had arrived. I was surprised at how packed the cinema was. Could it be? Did other people actually care about these two characters as much as I did? Apparently yes. The lights dimmed, the previews rolled and finally, the film started…

If you’re really looking forward to something, and it turns out NOT to be super awesome, but still very enjoyable and well-made, does that make it disappointing? The reason being, I was extremely looking forward to Cemetery Junction — the latest film out of the minds of Messrs. Gervais and Merchant, with (what I thought was) a pretty-funny-but-nothing-to-do-with-the-movie trailer. Hoping for hilarity, poignancy, a bit of quirkiness, plus extra Ralph Fiennes, I was expecting it to be a treat. And let me just say — this movie is far from bad. I still quite liked it. I just don’t know if it’s only me, but do you find that this has been happening more often lately? That you get so psyched for something, only to be let down? What a down-note to start this off with. Sorry. This post is a half-review, half-commentary on my expectations towards film today (reminding me of Dean’s unnecessary yet not-unwise scepticism before seeing Inception).

Cemetery Junction tells the story of the small British town that is home to lads Freddie (Christian Cooke), Bruce (Tom Hughes) and Snork (Jack Doolan). Freddie has just started a new job with a life insurance company, trying to “better” himself and work towards his goal of owning a Rolls Royce, getting married and settling down; Bruce is working in the local factory, and getting drunk and into punch-ups at the local pub nearly every night; and Snork is working at the train station, trying (unsuccessfully) to snare some birds, but pretty much happy with his life. The movie follows as Freddie becomes interested in engaged Julie (who coincidentally is his boss’ daughter), Bruce suffers through his cracked relationship with his dad, and Snork, well, just says stupid things and provides a lot of the laughs.

Neither fantastic nor a failure, Adam McKay’s The Other Guys occupies the middle ground as a pleasing and fun action/comedy. From the opening moments we’re thrust into a world where seemingly invincible heroic cops can execute the most impossible of deeds. Not fazed by the millions in property damage these super cops cause, the city’s citizens adore them as do their fellow police officers. Insert Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg, two hapless and mismatched cops (the titular Other Guys) who are the laughing stock of the entire precinct. While the hero cops they idolise get all the glory, they get stuck with typing up their paper work. Their uneventful lives are given a huge shake up when they find themselves thrust onto the front line after mistakenly becoming mixed up in a case that’s way over their heads.

Walking a fine line between buddy cop movie and a parody, The Other Guys is a blast from the get go. It manages to spoof the genre while simultaneously serving up action set-pieces that are genuinely fun. But as an action film second and a comedy first; The Other Guys did an efficient job at tickling my funny bone (the college years flashback cracked me up big time). The gags fly thick and fast with more hits than misses for the most part. Sure, there are the occasional misfires, but you can guarantee that a redeeming punchline is waiting right around the corner.

I will preface this very serious article by first saying that I am a big fan of the Coens. I sometimes find it hard to describe exactly what I want in a film, but Joel and Ethan Coen have me figured out. They have an uncanny ability to make the smallest, most insignificant story and characters seem epic. There is something enthralling about their storytelling that I just can’t get enough of it and A Serious Man is no different.

The film follows Larry Gopnik, a Jewish family man struggling to cope with the rigours of middle age, middle class and middle America. It is difficult to really summarise or even describe the story in any detail because Larry doesn’t ever actually do anything. Larry himself, on numerous occasions, pleads “I didn’t do anything” desperately trying to emphasise each word and syllable to justify his innocence. And this desperate plea is what truly sums up the film. Larry’s inaction is constantly tested by the plethora of relationships antagonising him throughout the film; his wife, his children, his wife’s new lover (“Sy Ableman!”), his neighbours, his co-workers, his students, his brother, his monthly record subscription provider, himself, his rabbis and ultimately his God – and it is this final relationship that takes the biggest toll on him.

A likeable – if slightly frustrating – God fearing citizen, Larry struggles to balance the demands each character places upon him, while still maintaining his good conscious in his obligation to Hashem. This prevents him from either acting in favour of their selfish requests or reacting in an outburst of pent up frustration. Instead he channels this emotion into self pity and confusion that leads him to question life’s meaning and purpose and in the end God’s benevolence.

"SY ABLEMAN!?"

Amid the chaos – which includes rude children, a super bitch wife and her soft spoken new lover cutting his grass (figuratively), a bigot neighbour cutting his grass (literally), an illiterate student losing just enough in translation to not admit to bribery (“secaret test”), a depressed brother, anonymous letters disrupting the processing of his tenure application, scary coincidences and death – Larry seeks the council of his Rabbi.

In 1993, John Marsden began writing a series of novels about a group of teenagers living in rural Australia, who decide to go on a camping trip for a weekend in the bush. Tomorrow, When the War Began is the first in the series, and after reading it as a youngster I was instantly hooked on the story of these Aussie teens being invaded by a foreign military for reasons unknown. I read the first 6, then started the 7th and final book but never finished it (also for reasons unknown). Anyway, I digress, the film that I saw tonight was a blast!

The film, like the novel, is narrated in first person by the protagonist and leader of the pack, Ellie Linton (Caitlin Stasey). The first shot is of her face in the picture of a hand-held camera, Blair Witch Project style, looking distressed. It is a good way of working in the voice-over that is consistent throughout the film, as the novel has many great lines that would be missed if we were not viewing it through her eyes. Ellie is in her final year at high-school, and decides with her friend Corrie (Rachel Hurd-Wood) that they should go away for the weekend on a camping trip. They decide that they want to venture somewhere they haven’t been before, past ‘Taylor’s Stitch’, into the valley known as ‘Hell’.

This movie proves that I am still, in fact, a girl. I don’t think guilty pleasures need to necessarily be “so bad they’re good” types, where you are laughing at the movie, instead of with it. More so they are (often) dismissed as nothing fantastic, or average, or even bad, but guilty pleasures are usually something that no matter what anyone says about it, or maybe even against your own opinion, you still adore anyway. She’s the Man is one of my biggest guilty pleasures. This movie speaks to the teenage girl in me.

She’s the Man is loosely based on Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night (which I still haven’t gotten around to reading, even just to compare and contrast). The movie focuses on Viola Hastings, your regular teenage girl who loves soccer. When her school’s girls soccer team gets cut, and her twin brother Sebastian goes AWOL for 2 weeks, Viola comes up with the bright idea to dress up as a boy and impersonate her brother, take his spot at his new school, make it onto the soccer team, and beat the boys team from her own school to prove how good she is. Hijinks, of course, ensue.