For A Few Movies More

For the next  few editions of Scary Sunday, I’m going to be watching a plethora of movies. Namely, entire franchises. I’ll be writing mini overviews and reviews for each one…yes even the crappy direct-to-DVD/VHS/Beta max movies that should be avoided like the plague manifested as dysentery, or something icky, because that’s the kind of guy I am. Anyway, Let’s start things off with a simple trilogy. Scanners

Scanners (1980)

This weeks blast from the past is the Sci-Fi Horror – “The Lawnmower Man”. It still holds up today as a fascinating film about just what might happen if a man was to become the smartest human being on the entire planet (I just don’t see a woman causing this much chaos to be honest) From the opening sequence,right up until the end, this film sets up a world unlike any other. Graphics and CGI that is so far from anything anyone else has tried to create or have ever seen on a LSD trip – this movies style can only be described in one word. Unique.

Directed by Brett Leonard (Virtuosity) Pierce Brosnan stars as Dr. Lawrence Angelo, a scientist obsessed with the Virtual Reality world. The Dr. has been unsuccessful with his tests involving Monkeys and the notion of  increasing their intelligence, through a combination of enhanced neural drugs and Virtual Reality (VR) simulations. After an intense first sequence, the latest Monkey – wait for it – go bananas and dies. He and his Government-influenced organisation known as “The Shop” agree to let the Dr. take some time off to rework on his experiments. Dr. Angelo, having wanted to test out his theory’s for sometime on actual humans, coerces a “Simpleton”  by the name of Jobe (Jeff Fahey) Jobe – The neighbourhood groundskeeper (Lawnmower Man) agrees to play a few of the Dr. Angelo’s games/simulations and take the drugs to see if they actually can transform him into a more intelligent and “acceptable” person in society. Jobe, a man very easily susceptible to be taken advantage off through the likes of the local Priest, whom he boards with, and the local thug at the Gas station, who happens to beat on him, starts to become more self-aware of the audacity these people are as threats and eventually decides to take matters in his own hands. Throw in an abusive father that hurts his best friend Peter (Austin O’Brien – Yeah, the “Last Action Hero” kid) a pre-teen wuss of a child and The government syndicate led by a man named only as “The Director” (Dean Norris Of Breaking Bad fame) whose intentions are to abuse Jobes new-found intelligence, abilities and superpowers and you have a hell of a wacky story to try to make sense of.

This weeks Classic is truly one for the ages. It’s 2, maybe 3 years old (Okay it’s 78 years old, but you get the idea) and it is one of the greatest sequels to any movie of all time. “Bride of Frankenstein” directed by James Whale (“Frankenstein 1931″) is everything you would’ve hoped for in a sequel. In fact it upstaged the original so much that the other 6 or so sequels Universal Studios went on to make;  fail miserably in comparison to this and whatever the movie leaves behind in its trail of carnage. It might sound like I’m selling the film way too much, but if you have seen the movie, you’d realise that I’m actually underselling it at this point and if you haven’t seen the movie, I hope for your sake that your blind, or deaf or a cactus. If you are a cactus, get the hell out, I want nothing to do with you.

Regardless of whether you have seen the original, any of the dozen remakes (I didn’t mind Kenneth Branagh’s version with Robert De Niro) or have read the book, most, if not all of you are familiar with the story. Mad Scientist (to most people) “Dr. Frankenstein” creates “A monster” made from the parts of man, brings it to life, it goes on a rampage killing people (and a little girl inadvertently), the townsfolk chase it and burn it. It’s a symbolic metaphor of human society, their reluctance to technology and fear of the unknown. It’s also a metaphor for transferring all hatred into a symbolic creature to blame for their own insecurities and how unpredictable man is at times of adversity. Blah, Blah I’m sure you all studied it in English. It’s a well-known and established tale. “Bride” sets out directly after the first movie, adding an apex to the original.

Are you afraid of Spiders? Are they more afraid of you? I doubt that very much. Have you seen some of the Spiders that exist out there? I may live in a country that homes “The Deadliest Animals in the World” with long Brown Snakes, big ugly Sharks, killer Crocodiles and rabid Platypuses (Platapusi?) but none, and I mean none, can compare to just how scary a giant Spider is in real life. I’m not arachnophobic (much) but I do like to think that we have a mutual agreement (That co-exists with Bugs,Snails and Cockroaches {It was a treaty we all signed]) that states I’ll leave you alone, if you leave me alone. It works well for the most part. If a Cockroach scatters out of a wall, He has until I return to leave or suffer the consequences. If a Snail is blocking my path as I try to leave my house, It has 2 days to move or face eviction via my foot. But Spiders…Spiders seem to tempt me, fate and this treaty on an almost daily basis. I’ll walk around outside and BAM! Random cob-web in my face. WHAT THE HELL Spiders? I don’t go and place a booby trap outside your front door. Or when I’m in the shower and a Spider crawls out through the hole…GET YOUR OWN SHOWER you eight legged fuzzball!! And then when I’m driving, and YOU’Re ON THE INSIDE OF MY CAR WINDOW! GTFO! TEACH YOURSELF TO DRIVE you cannibalistic wig wannabe. What about those giant spiders that are bigger than your hand? I’m sorry but those Spiders need to die…today. Let’s talk about the movie now. Damn Spiders even taking up the first paragraph.

For the Month of April, I’m taking it back to when Horror Movies actually scared people. Shock, Horror, A-gaping-mouth-itis…there actually was a time in cinematic history where it was still considered to many as “The magic-flickering thingies and noises, that we don’t comprehend”" Instead of “Film” – as we know it. (Olden times-people talked funny, Trust me – I’ve gone back in time – Twice) The original “Night of The Living Dead” gave people heart attacks, “Dracula”‘s bat on a string struck terror into every 16-year-old girls heart and Cary Grant’s eyes once stole a small boys soul and kept in locked away until like two weeks ago. So let’s celebrate some of the greatest movies ever made in the genre. We’re going back to 1962 with the British classic “Day of the Triffids”

In the 1960′s Men were Men whom were manly and didn’t wear tight-Jeans unless they were saving the world. Women didn’t really know of a world outside the kitchen, but all of them were absolutely gorgeous, radiant and intelligent and it was abnormal NOT to drink and drive. Thanks to “Mad Men” I’ve learnt everything I need to know about the decade that happened a good quarter Century before I was born.

Based on a true story that happened in Georgia county in which the filmmakers and where the movie is shot – 247 Degrees Fahrenheit is your typical “trapped in a scenario, how do they get out”  film that appears to be becoming more and more popular the last few years. Are people becoming more claustrophobic or are there more idiots out there getting themselves trapped in dire and ludicrous situations? Mine Shafts, Caves, Elevators, Rooms – You name it, someone, somewhere will get stuck in it. A few months ago in real life, a man got himself trapped in a letterbox over in England. A letterbox! Now that’s a movie, I’d like to see. So what happens when four teenagers find themselves trapped in a homemade Sauna, whilst on vacation? Not much, apparently.

247°F (or 119 Degrees Celsius for the rest of the world and not the three and a half countries that still use Imperial) Directed by Levan Bakhia and Beqa Jguburia starts off with our main Female Protagonist – Jenna (Scout-Taylor Compton) on a road trip with her Fiance suddenly get in a car accident, resulting in her fiance to die next to her. Distraught, horrified and life-altering, Jenna never really recovers and her best friend Renee (Christina Ulloa) her boyfriend Michael (Michael Copon) and his best mate Ian (Travis Van Winkle) all decide that a vacation is what is needed on the menu, so they head up to Ian’s Uncle – Wade’s (Tyler Mane) cabin. Wade, involved in the towns local festivities, allows the kids free rein to everything at the cabin, whilst he excuses himself to help set up “May-Day”. He’s got the kids tickets to the biggest party in town, but they have a few hours to kill, so they all strip to their underwear when they discover his home-made sauna. They jump in, it’s too hot. They then decide to go swimming in the lake, so they jump in to the lake. now it’s too cold, let’s go back to the sauna.

Throw out some Countries that come to your mind when you think Horror movies. America? Japan? Mexico? Sweden? France? Ok…Did anybody say Ireland? Anybody? No? Well, I wouldn’t expect you too. They do exist, and from the one or two I’ve seen, they’re pretty darn good.

Sitemaster/Overlord “Dean” lent me one from his vast collection of DVD’s (And freebies he always seems to get) telling me I’d like this one. I hadn’t heard anything of the movie, but he reassured me that I’d love it and it’s totally my style (You don’t know me at all, Dean, you don’t know me at all ) But he was right, and Grabbers is an entertaining, fun film that I felt best to tie in with today being St. Patrick’s Day. My quarter Irish heritage would be proud.

Grabbers revolves around a small Irish island named “Erin Island”, with a small town, simple folk and very little in terms of an actual police force. The Towns Sargeant takes a holiday and is temporarily replaced by officer Lisa Nolan (Ruth Bradley), teaming up with fellow Garda (What the Irish call their police) O’Shea (Richard Coyle) – An alcoholic (You saw that coming). Things are tense between the two, with the whole odd couple element thrown in (She’s a goody-two shoes workaholic, He’s just a lazy drunk) An Alien force crash lands on Earth, conveniently right on this little island. It attacks the simple townsfolk and drinks their blood. O’Shea and Nolan must set aside their differences to tackle this Alien.

Watching “The ABC’s of Death” a few weeks back opened me up to a plethora of new directors and writers to try out. One of those Directors was a Spanish man by the name of Jorge Michel Grau. Grau directed the Segment “I”, which was ok, nothing too special, but I decided to check him out anyway. “We Are What We Are” is his first big Directorial Debut, as well as being the scriptwriter, never an easy feat by any means.

“We Are What We Are” is a touching story about Life, Love, Tradition. It’s about the Trials and Tribulations, the Hardships and the Rewards that all encompass in being a family and it’s about cannibalism.

Cannibalism.

What?

That’s not how your family works? Maybe your family are the weirdos?

How about those Indie Films? You know the ones; Low budget, bad acting, decent story-lines, cheesy special effects etc… They’re the underdogs you want to root for. The big bad, ugly Hollywood movies with their giant guts, smelly haircuts and gorgeous face-hair that pull faces at the little art-house films and walk all over them, and have done so for years. Sure they’re easily more accessible now and cheaper too, but in all honesty, how many do you watch? If you had a choice now between watching Django, Lincoln or Argo in comparison to something a college student filmed in his basement with his crippled girlfriend and her dog playing a pine cone for the soundtrack, I’m sure most of you would pick the fancy pants productions.

But it’s good to break away from all the glamour and stripper glitter of Hollywood and seek out a smaller independent film. Keep tabs, if you will, on the “Up and Comers” a few years ago, no one had heard of Ti West and now all the horror geeks are having heated discussions on just how truly sane the man is. Dustin W Mills is steamrolling along too, having a few semi-successful movies under his belt on the scene and with his newly released “Night of the Tentacles” in which he wrote, scored, edited and directed, he is another man you may just want to clock.

26 Directors. 26 Letters of the Alphabet. 26 Mini-Horror films. Technically, this would’ve lasted me half a years worth of Scary Sundays. I’m lazy, but not that lazy. The good old anthology Horror films have always peaked my interest, from the days of Vault of Horror (A collection of Tales From The Crypt episodes), Tales From the Darkside and the Creepshow movies up to the more recent entries like V/H/S and Trick R Treat, I , and many Horror fans will be there to eat them up. Much akin to the other anthology movies, this one has some good, some bad, some average and some that make babies cry.

An interesting concept in which the 26 Directors across the world were given a random letter of the alphabet, then asked to make a short based on a word starting with the letter and with a budget of $5000 dollars with free reign over every aspect. For example A = Apocalypse, K = Klutz, T = Toilet and Z = Zetsumetsu were used and chosen by the directors. Nothing was off-limits and what plays out over the next 2 hrs, ranges from Spine-tingling to hilarious to strange to messed up to down right atrocious. With no conditions set for each Director, it truly is a mixed bag.

Directors include the likes of: Angela Bettis (Yes, that Angela Bettis from “May”), Jason Eisner (Hobo With a Shotgun) Yoshihiro Nishimura (Machine Girl, Tokyo Gore Police) Ti West (House of the Devil) Xavier Gens (Hitman) and even Australian Director Andrew Traucki (The Reef, Black Water)