It’s that time of year again folks. That wonderful time to reward the hard work of so many individuals. To celebrate the fantastic achievements made by all those folks in that good old dream factory known as Hollywood. A time for the whole world to come together in appreciation. For a night of glamour, glitz, and celebration. Of celebrities, and red carpets, and dresses, and bling. Yes folks, once again, it’s Oscar Season.
BOOOOOORING!!!! Come on! Oscar season?! Does anyone actually watch that crap anymore? Seriously, who honestly wants to sit there for three hours watching some already over-pampered celebrities have their egos fondled further?! Listening to long, boring, ubiquitous acceptance speeches, seeing the same ceremonious sequence as last year. Handing out baubles to the films and actors designated superior by the self styled intellectuals of the cinema going world. The only thing that differs is the nominees and the winners. And you can find out about those in thirty seconds on the internet, and spend the rest of the evening watching “True Lies”, which is unofficially the best movie ever made. Quite apart from anything else, why is it movie stars who get all this ludicrous pomp and ceremony? The big stars already earn ridiculous amounts of money and live in massive mansions in the very lap of luxury. Why do they need any further rewarding? What about all the real heroes out there, like the firemen, police, and surgeons? Where’s their parade? I’m speaking as an actor, and a filmmaker here when I say: The Oscars are a load of crap. I shall not be watching. Sure, I am interested in who won, but I will learn those details through IMDB. I shall be paying for more attention to the other ceremony. Hollywood’s quiet humiliation. The ceremony dedicated to the worst work of the year. The annual hall of shame. Yes, I’m talking about the Golden Raspberries, or Razzies.
Founded in 1980 by John Wilson, the Razzies are a night to honor the worst films that Hollywood has farted out onto cinema screens over the past twelve months. Call me a cynic, I don’t care, but I am always much more interested in these. The Razzies offer real drama, the shame of being nominated can really bring some of those celebs back down to earth. Some have a sense of humour about it. Others not so much so. Either way, it is by far the superior ceremony in my opinion. And now, like their more widely publicized older brother awards, this year’s winners have been announced.
While Adam Sandler dominated the Razzies last year, with every award going either to him, or to a film in which he was in some way involved; this year, it’s “Twilight”’s big year to clean up, with all the pent up bile of rampantly heterosexual movie lovers who attended Stephanie Meyer’s saga with girlfriends, it was only a matter of time before “Twilight” was hit by a tidal wave of Golden raspberries. While the majority of honours did go to Twilight, it is gratifying to see Adam Sandler’s sickeningly self-indulgent load of excrement “That’s My Boy” claim two Razzies, as well as that spectacular flop “Battleship”. And while it would have been nice to see a category named “Biggest Disappointment” for Ridley Scott’s epic let-down “Prometheus”, or some recognition go to the supreme awfulness of “Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World”, there is no denying that this years crop of “winners” are thoroughly deserving of their “honours”.
But for now, without further ado, the winners are:
- Worst Picture: “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2″
- Worst Actor: Adam Sandler in “That’s My Boy”
- Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart in “Snow White and the Huntsman” and “The Twilight Saga: Breking Dawn Part 2″
- Worst Supporting Actor: Taylor Lautner in “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2″
- Worst Supporting Actress: Rhianna in “Battleship”
- Worst Screen Ensemble: The entire cast of “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2″
- Worst Director: Bill Condon for “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2″
- Worst Remake, Rip-off, or Sequel: “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2″ (There seems to be a pattern emerging here. – Ed.)
- Worst Screen Couple: Mackenzie Foy and Taylor Lautner in “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2″ (Seriously, what were they smoking when they allowed this borderline paedophiliac relationship to be filmed?!?! – Ed.)
- Worst Screenplay: David Caspe for “That’s My Boy”
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